I begin to learn that I can come out, come to Him, surrender. I find rest. I sit in who I am becoming in His presence – His child, His bride, His friend. I sit in who He is becoming to me – my Savior, my Rescuer, my Father, my Husband, my Friend, my Comforter, my Keeper, my Redeemer, my ALL…

Then…life happens and I’m drawn back into the spin, the vault… The old ways of coping and viewing reality lure me into the past, the comfortable, the fractured… My expectations whisper that the pain and suffering should end and all should be well… instantly… The reality that the pain and suffering continues brings about more frustration. Why doesn’t God stop this and fix it all in an instant? I thought if I came to Him, I’d be immediately saved, fixed and healed, and all would be well. I thought that if I…A, B, C,….God would be obligated to…D, E, F,… It doesn’t work that way.

I have learned to accept that life is a process and a journey…not an end, not an arrival, not a one and done. It’s a relationship with Him that has a beginning, a middle, and an eternal future. It grows and deepens through the wrestling, waiting, and depending that happens along the way. This has a purpose.

I can accept. I can surrender. I can trust. I can change my expectations…